We Ain't Got No History - Oscar saves Chelsea from scoreless draw with Sparta PragueChampions of Europe!https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/community_logos/52884/21_SBN_002_We_Aint_Got_No_History_Favicon_32x32..png2013-02-15T19:39:05+00:00http://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/rss/stream/37517812013-02-15T19:39:05+00:002013-02-15T19:39:05+00:00Fernando Torres, Destroyer of Worlds
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<figcaption>Scott Heavey</figcaption>
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<p>When <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/">Chelsea</a> emerged from the Czech Republic with a 1-0, Oscar-powered win over Sparta Prague, the match felt rather profoundly uneventful. Yes, the Blues were in position to qualify for the next round of the Europa League, but a) they were already in a position to qualify, because they're Chelsea and they were playing Sparta Prague and b) not that many people care about the Europa League anyway.</p>
<p>It was about as meaningless a match as a match could be... or so we all figured.</p>
<p>1,500 miles east of Moscow, a million-strong city was barely waking up when an unidentified object blazed through the contrail-ridden morning sky, its fiery path culminating in a series of explosions:</p>
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<p>The damage was significant, with hundreds injured by broken glass caused by the shockwave. Initial reports suggested that the object was a 10-ton meteor breaking up at an altitude, but the Russian Federal Space Agency, working in tandem with the ESA and NASA, has now tracked the source of the explosion to a projectile launched from Earth.</p>
<p><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2173593/soccer2.gif"></p>
<p>And we thought <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110873/fernando-torres">Fernando Torres</a> didn't do anything interesting yesterday.</p>
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https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/15/3992686/fernando-torres-russian-meteorGraham MacAree2013-02-14T22:36:40+00:002013-02-14T22:36:40+00:00Oscar gifts insipid Chelsea win in Prague
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<figcaption>Scott Heavey</figcaption>
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<p>Ok so apparently I'm 'contractually obligated' or something to provide a match report for <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/">Chelsea's</a> Europa League trip to Sparta Prague. As you probably know, the Blues came away with a 1-0 victory. But if you didn't watch it, you don't know just how dire it was. Because but for the Oscar goal, which was awesome it was really, really, really bad.</p>
<p>The first fifteen minutes went Chelsea's way -- the attacking trio of <span>Juan Mata</span>, <span>Marko Marin</span> and <span>Eden Hazard</span> was clearly going to be too much for a rather slow-looking Sparta defence to contain. The Blues might have been 3-0 ahead if they'd had a striker who anticipates crossing chances, but <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110873/fernando-torres">Fernando Torres</a> kept looking for the cutback rather than making the driving runs he needed to find the back of the net.</p>
<p>The team then decided to make us forget that Torres was having problems by going into collective derp mode. The defending was poor. The midfield was poor. Hazard and Mata remembered that they didn't really care about the Europa League. Only Marin did anything particularly notable, and that mostly involved putting his head down and running as fast as he could.</p>
<p>Fortunately, the hosts weren't much better. David Lafata contrived to miss a series of clear-cut chances in the first half when Chelsea might have been punished for their hilariously awful play. Said insipidness continued most of the way through the second half and only ended when Oscar was swapped on for Juan Mata.</p>
<p>Within seconds of the substitution, the young Brazilian had put the Blues ahead. A turn in midfield led to an exchange with <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110218/frank-lampard">Frank Lampard</a>, and then a one-two with Hazard drew Oscar steaming into the box, where he skipped past a defender and slotted coolly past Tomas Vaclik to make it 1-0.</p>
<p>The goal woke Chelsea up for a few seconds, and Torres then had a stinging near-post shot saved well by Vaclik, but then they remembered it was the Europa League and stopped caring once more. And that's how things finished.</p>
<p>A 1-0 away win is a very good result, don't get me wrong. But the performance was poor and would not have worked against a better team, and frankly I wish I had been watching something else. Oh well.</p>
https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/14/3989424/sparta-prague-vs-chelsea-final-scoreGraham MacAree2013-02-14T19:49:26+00:002013-02-14T19:49:26+00:00Sparta Prague 0 - Chelsea 1: Initial Reaction
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<figcaption>Scott Heavey</figcaption>
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<p>Chelsea looked terrible for the vast majority of this contest, but one moment of brilliance from Oscar has them looking good ahead of the return leg</p> <p>I think most expected this game to be a pretty lopsided affair, as apart from a pretty major gulf in talent, <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/">Chelsea</a> had been playing regularly while Sparta hadn't played a game since early December. I don't think may would have predicted the flat performance in the first half then, in which Sparta probably had the three best chances despite Chelsea generally controlling the possession.</p>
<p>The second half started out much the same, with Chelsea looking generally poor until the 80th minute. Then Oscar came on, and continued to own European competition, scoring his 6th goal across both competitions just seconds after stepping onto the pitch. 1-0 with an away goal isn't exactly what I was hoping for, but it looks an awful lot better than a scoreless draw.</p>
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<li>I was not happy at all when I saw the starting lineup and both <span>Juan Mata</span> and <span>Eden Hazard</span> were starting. Playing Hazard makes perfect sense, as he should be relatively fresh after a 3-match suspension. Why not rest Mata on a cold night against weaker opposition though, especially with both Oscar and <span>Yossi Benayoun</span> available on the bench.</li>
<li>While we're on the starting lineups, I'd have loved to have seen <span>Petr Cech</span> and his broken finger get the day off today. That said, I'd hate to be in Rafa Benitez's shoes if he tried to explain to Cech that he wasn't going to play against his old club.</li>
<li>I had the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://liverpooloffside.sbnation.com/">Liverpool</a>/Zenit game on the second television my living room during the first half, and comparing <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110873/fernando-torres">Fernando Torres</a> to <span>Luis Suarez</span> was certainly interesting. Where Suarez was constantly on the shoulder of the last man back, Torres started running back toward his Chelsea teammates almost the second which they took possession from Sparta. Torres generally looks good when he doesn't do that, so it just infuriates me when I see him start trying to be involved in the buildup as opposed to providing a potential target for a quick strike and creating space for his teammates to exploit.</li>
<li>Chelsea just can't continue to play this sort of system and expect results to improve. Our band of three and pivot are pushed way up the pitch, but our defensive line sits so deep that there are easy outlets on the counter every single time we turn the ball over. If we're going to press with our attackers after a turnover, it makes little sense for the defense to play such a low pressure style.</li>
<li>That Oscar is really something, isn't he? He obviously needs to become more consistent, but he certainly shows flashes of absolute brilliance in basically every facet of his game.</li>
<li>Having David Luiz, <span>John Obi Mikel</span>, <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110210/john-terry">John Terry</a>, and <span>Victor Moses</span> back will be an awfully big boost to this squad. Terry, Luiz, and Mikel in particular should all be big additions, as we just look awful in the back when none of those three are available.</li>
<li>As bad as this looked, at least we're not Liverpool.</li>
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https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/14/3988990/sparta-prague-0-chelsea-1-initial-reaction-and-community-rating-formStephen Schmidt2013-02-14T18:50:04+00:002013-02-14T18:50:04+00:00Sparta Prague vs. Chelsea: Second Half Thread
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<figcaption>Scott Heavey</figcaption>
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<p>As expected, the first half is now followed by the second half. Football!</p> <p>SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!</p>
<p>This. Is.</p>
<p>Due to prior commitments, I've had to type up and schedule this post before the actual match had even begun. So while usually you'd get a quick recap of any first half highlights or lowlights, this time you just get a bit of text, that's entirely useless and unhelpful.</p>
<p>Sort of like this competition.</p>
<p>Not that you read this crap anyway. And your father smells of elderberries.</p>
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https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/14/3988898/sparta-prague-vs-chelsea-europa-league-second-half-threadDavid Pasztor2013-02-14T17:06:19+00:002013-02-14T17:06:19+00:00Sparta Prague vs. Chelsea: Lineups & Game Thread
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<figcaption>It's a netted cage of emotion! | Laurence Griffiths</figcaption>
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<p>It's a cold Thursday night, somewhere in Central Europe.</p> <p>Hey there, Europa. How you doin'?</p>
<p>Looking good today...</p>
<p>Ready for some action?</p>
<p>I just want to<i> love you</i>, baby!</p>
<p>Let's do this.</p>
<p><b><i>Sparta Prague starting lineup (4-3-3):</i></b><br>Tomás Vaclík | Matej Hybs, Mario Holek, Ondrej Svejdík, Tomás Zápotocny | Marek Matejovsky, Lukás Vácha, Josef Husbauer | Ladislav Krejcí, David Lafata, Václav Kadlec</p>
<p><i>Substitutes from:</i> Marek Cech, Manuel Pamic, Léonard Kweuke, Vlastimil Vidlicka, Roman Polom, Roman Bednár, Adam János</p>
<p><b><i><a href="https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/" class="sbn-auto-link">Chelsea</a> starting lineup (4-2-3-1):</i></b><br><span>Petr Cech</span> | <span>Ryan Bertrand</span>, <span>Gary Cahill</span>, <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110687/branislav-ivanovic" class="sbn-auto-link">Branislav Ivanovic</a>, <span>Cesar Azpilicueta</span> | <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110218/frank-lampard" class="sbn-auto-link">Frank Lampard</a>, Ramires | <span>Marko Marin</span>, <span>Juan Mata</span>, <span>Eden Hazard</span> | <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110873/fernando-torres" class="sbn-auto-link">Fernando Torres</a></p>
<p><i>Substitutes from: </i> <span>Ross Turnbull</span>, <span>Ashley Cole</span>, Oscar, <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110645/paulo-ferreira" class="sbn-auto-link">Paulo Ferreira</a>, <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110210/john-terry" class="sbn-auto-link">John Terry</a>, <span>Yossi Benayoun</span>, Nathan Ake</p>
<p>So that just about pretty much picked itself, didn't it? Bertrand gets the start in his natural position, for once, and gets the task of containing the speedy Kadlec. Also, Marko Marin!</p>
<p>Half the Sparta defense consists of midfielders - there are goals to be had here aplenty.</p>
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https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/14/3987726/sparta-prague-vs-chelsea-europa-league-lineups-game-threadDavid Pasztor2013-02-14T06:00:59+00:002013-02-14T06:00:59+00:00Sparta Prague vs. Chelsea: Team News & Preview
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<figcaption>Obligatory shot of red roofs | David Pasztor</figcaption>
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<p>Well, well well well well well well well well well well well well ... helloooooo Europa!</p> <p>I thought long and hard - read: five minutes - about making this preview serious or not-so-serious<b>*</b>. On one hand, it's Thursday; it's the Europa League; it's the red-headed stepchild of the UEFA Cup, the Cup-Winner's Cup, the Intertoto Cup, and Michel Platini's moneybags - that's right, it's a mixed household - struggling for relevance, burdened by a needless amount of fixtures, rounds, and group stages. On the other hand, it's Thursday; it's the Europa League; it's the last chance for any actual European relevance for the outgoing Champions of Europe.</p>
<p><i><b>*</b> Related: should Chelsea take this seriously or not-so-seriously?</i></p>
<p>On one hand, Roman Abramovich has never had to taste the foul backwash of the Champions League - although there's a fantastic bit of symmetry in that the Roman Era's first ever (non-qualifying round) Champions League match was against tonight's opponents as well. On the other hand ... well, there's no other hand really, besides the entirely contrived and disingenuous goal of winning all the various European cups - if <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/">Chelsea</a> were to win the Europa League, they'd join Juventus, Ajax Amsterdam, and Bayern Munich (your stadium; our trophy!) as the only teams to win each of the Champions League, the UEFA Cup, and the Cup Winner's Cup. <i>Gotta collect them all!</i></p>
<p>On one hand, the team doesn't get to test its mettle against Europe's elite. On the other, the team doesn't belong among Europe's elite (not yet; not at this point anyway) so a consolation prize of getting to travel to the most beautiful city in all the land, once capital of yours truly's motherland, and where <span>Petr Cech</span> once played as a 19-year-old is quite ok in my book. So, win or lose, up the Blues! Time to get serious. Because make no mistake, this is the greatest of occasions for the hosts.</p>
<p><b>Date/Time:</b> Thursday, February 14, 2013; 18:00 GMT; 1 P.M. EST; 11:30 P.M. IST</p>
<p><b>Venue: </b> Generali Arena, Prague, Czech Republic</p>
<p><b>TV Information:</b> ESPN (UK); Fox Soccer (USA); TEN Sports (India)</p>
<p><b>Online:</b> FoxSoccer2Go</p>
<p>Too bad they don't hold this at Strahov (Stadium). But hurray for Thursday nights and odd kickoff times!</p>
<p><b>Sparta Prague: </b> Historically, the greatest team ever in the Czech Republic and, before, in Czechoslovakia. After a second place finish last season, they're currently just third in the league; but twenty-one years ago, they even made it all the way to the de facto semifinals of the European Cup - reorganized as the Champions League the following season - finishing second in their group to eventual champions Barcelona. I remember watching that team, including their <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slq2KLTkOcM">famous 1:0 victory</a> over the Catalans with all their Koemans, and Laudrups, and Guardiolas, and Zubizarretas, and Nadals.</p>
<p>Just a squad player that day, Vítězslav Lavička<b>*</b> is now the manager of Sparta. Ten years into his managerial career, he's already had quite a storied history, including International management with the Czech U-21s and an A-League title with Sydney FC in 2009-10. It's nice to see an ex-player back in charge of his club, isn't it?</p>
<p><b style="font-style: italic;">*</b><i> SB Nation markup discriminates against the </i><a href="http://sk.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A4k%C4%8De%C5%88"><i>mäkčeň</i></a><i> or <a href="http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1%C4%8Dek_(diakritika)">háček</a> (i.e. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caron">caron</a>) so his name (also, ironically, the words mäkčeň or háček itself) doesn't quite have the same flourish as it normally would have...</i></p>
<p>For a full run-down of the major characters in the Sparta team, <a href="http://theczechup.co.uk/2013/02/12/reintroducing-sparta-prague/">check out this (re)introduction</a> from <a href="https://twitter.com/theczechup">@theczechup</a>. You might see a familiar name or two in there, including Jiří Jarošík, now a center back, but who sadly looks to miss out. Sparta also count ex-Premier Leaguer and cocaine enthusiast Roman Bednář and Marek Matějovský (he of the <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xctmcf_marek-matejovsky-s-wonder-goal-agai_sport">wonder goal</a> vs. the two-headed mythical beast of Benitez-Torres) amongst their ranks. Once ultra-hyped FM wonder kid/sprinter, Václav Kadlec should also make an appearance, possibly in tandem with new signing, Gambrinus League top scorer, and Czech international striker David Lafata.</p>
<p>Most interestingly, to me, the other option at forward is a certain Leonard Kweuke, 25, a Cameroonian international, who broke into European football under most shady circumstances at my home town club. He scored 11 in just half a season at struggling DAC (especially in terms of actually paying their players), before the football gods (and "businessmen") took mercy on him and loaned him into German football. Eventually he was sold, and he's averaged about 1-in-2 ever since for Sparta.</p>
<p><b>Chelsea: </b> Just 19 players were named to the squad, with the Nigerian contingent still absent, <span>David Luiz</span> suspended, and <span>Demba Ba</span> cup tied. On the positive side, <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/fifa/players/110210/john-terry">John Terry</a> looks ready to go and <span>Gary Cahill's</span> slight knock, limp, strain, or whatever it was that he picked up vs. Wigan seems to have not had any lasting effect.</p>
<p>Despite that, there's no denying that Chelsea look a bit ragged for this one. Ragged in form, ragged in determination, ragged in fitness, ragged in depth, ragged in leadership, ragged in management. Ragged.</p>
<p>The Europa League may be Mickey Mouse compared to the Champions League, but the hosts will be hungry for victory and headlines. And I mean headlines beyond the obvious and already tired "Petr Cech homecoming" ones. In fact, it's looking almost ominous for our beloved Blues. But never mind my sense of impending doom (I knew I shouldn't have taken this seriously!). <span>Juan Mata</span> will save us.</p>
<p>I hope. One a cold, freezing, Thursday night somewhere in Central Europe. I hope.</p>
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https://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2013/2/14/3987112/sparta-prague-vs-chelsea-europa-league-team-news-previewDavid Pasztor