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Bethany England’s dog, Buddy, is a very good boy

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Buddy > Air Bud, and it’s not even close

Now, as the internet’s foremost Bethany England Appreciator, I cannot proceed to the primary #content without noting that England’s left foot is still in a boot. Her ankle was reportedly injured in training leading up to England’s final match in the SheBelieves Cup against Spain on 11 March. At the time it was reported as a sprain, with a bad pitch potentially being the culprit.

There’s never a silver lining to a global pandemic, and if there is, it certainly isn’t a footballer’s health, but given that over two weeks later England’s foot remains in the boot, Chelsea surely would have had to face important matches without our best, and best-performing, player. As noted many times by me, Bethany England has a nine-league match scoring streak which began on the 24th of November. You can, and should, watch some of her best goals from this season. Also, Phil Neville, who was rumored to quit as Lionesses manager after an extremely poor showing in the SheBelieves Cup, has proven to be a bad coach who is wasting one of the most talented women’s teams on the planet.

Now, on to the dog content.

Here’s Bethany England’s golden retriever, Buddy, working on his heading skills.

Air Bud could never. In fact, Air Bud sleeps in Buddy pajamas. Knowing he could never achieve such heights, Air Bud fell into a deep depression after seeing this clip. Air Bud was last seen disheveled, trotting the streets mangy and alone, and only at night. He picks fights with bigger dogs just to feel something. He’s started smoking cigarettes and can no longer run without the pain of pavement scraping and piercing his belly as it drags along the ground.

But don’t blame Buddy, he couldn’t have known his success would lead to this, or that a violent whirlwind of jealousy would swirl within the former movie star. Air Bud’s responsible for his own actions, and should use the considerable resources procured during his fraudulent career to seek help. Buddy’s just a good boy trying to please his owner, whom he loves very much.

Good dog, Buddy. Good dog.