Chelsea FC Women woke up feeling dangerous; so sorry Birmingham City but also not really

The entire Chelsea FC Women’s team woke up Sunday morning feeling extremely dangerous. Sure, there was motivation — Birmingham City WFC finished fourth last season and were one of Chelsea’s only two losses in the league — but after losing players to Manchesters City and United, plus Spurs, they’re just second from the bottom. But lions do not concern themselves with the opinion of sheep, as the saying goes, nor unfortunate realities that lead to poor league positions.

Anyway, the Chelsea Women put on an absolute show, and they wasted no time in starting it. The clock barely read two minutes as Ji So-yun was standing over a free kick on the edge of the box. And, well…

In hindsight, and given the final score, this could be viewed as harbinger of an onslaught. In real-time however, it took thirty-five minutes for the second goal to come.

As Chelsea putzed around — dominating possession, missing the final link, coping with the ensuing counter, then starting it all over again — center-back Millie Bright was growing weary. In the 37th minute she channeled her frustrations into a bursting run that started from Chelsea’s half and ended with her receiving a through ball in the opposition box, using one touch to settle and another to score.

Statement made, right? Go into the half up 2-0 on a team on the opposite end of the table, control the match, bag one or two more in the second half, and job done, right?

Millie Bright and Beth England laugh at your complacency.

Fam. They De Boer-Bergkamp’d.

Millie Bright collected the ball on the right side of defense, surveyed the pitch, stuffed her boot full of gunpowder and launched a fifty-yard diagonal in search of Bethany England making a run at the far post. Bethany England saw the gift headed her way and knew just what to do. Her first touch was one of the best you’ll see in football anywhere this season. Within about five steps she turned her right foot into a pillow and her left into a hammer.

This was simply as outrageous a goal as you will see anywhere, or any time. If any one of the elements involved produces a goal it would have been special. When all three combine to accomplish something so rare and technically masterful, there’s nothing to do but watch it over and over again with nothing but awe and appreciation in your heart and mind.

Chelsea went on to add three more goals, with England getting another and Drew Spence netting a second-half brace (one via a clever flick from England). All match highlights can be seen on The FA Player which requires just an email address to access. All FA Women’s Super League matches stream live and for free (matches on BT Sport are not available to stream in the UK, but still stream for free outside of the UK).

This Chelsea team is shaping up to be something quite special, it would be unwise to miss chances to watch them.