Newcastle United actually do not have ‘any’ interest in Jorginho — report

A throwaway line in the Daily Mail the other day created a brief news cycle regarding Chelsea midfielder Jorginho and Newcastle United’s need for a new midfielder in the wake of midfielder Jonjo Shelvey’s latest injury, but according to the Telegraph, one new midfielder Newcastle do not want to fill their midfieldery need, is the Chelsea, well, midfielder.

Aww.

In fairness, I probably put more effort into that run-on sentence purely to amuse myself than the Mail did into their original ... “report”.

The Telegraph’s slightly more effortful report cites “sources” for their sources — so I heard you like sources — and those sources are clearly no fans of the Chelsea Vice-captain. These sources have done their own research, deeming that “he does not have the mobility to play in their midfield system” (ouch) and also that “his wage demands would be far too big”, which is an ironic notion given their ownership situation. Yeah yeah wage structures blah blah blah.

Well, we’ve reached 150 words, so the Google gods will be pleased and we can move on to the next silly rumor that comes our way. Meanwhile, Jorginho’s contract is still up in six months and his future beyond that remains a mystery shrouded in gingham. Bake!