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Even the rumor mill’s admitting defeat in Chelsea’s Erling Haaland pursuit

It’s happening not

Borussia Dortmund v Athletic Bilbao - Preseason Friendly Photo by Alexandre Simoes/Borussia Dortmund/Getty Images

Erling Haaland returned to the pitch for Borussia Dortmund in yesterday’s 2-0 friendly defeat against Athletic Bilbao, and while the result was certainly not what they wanted, the highly coveted striker continues to show no signs of leaving the club. His singular focus appears to be on the season ahead with BVB.

“It’s good to be back and to play my first game of preseason. The result obviously wasn’t good, but that’s not what it’s about. It goes without saying that we want to win, but getting to run and play with the team and work on certain situations is good. The season starts in two weeks, and we’re going to be well prepared for it.”

-Erling Haaland; source: BVB

Granted, Haaland isn’t about to come out and say he’s leaving even if that were the case, certainly not to official club media, but the mental gymnastics required to keep reading between and behind the lines to convince ourselves that there is a chance Haaland’s coming to Chelsea this summer are approaching positively Olympian levels. Though this event is only held on Twitter, rather than at Tokyo.

In fact, the rumor mill itself is starting to give up on this dream and click-cash-cow. Here’s Chief Oracle Fabrizio Romano crying some crocodile tears.

No agreement.

No bids.

No interest in other players.

No discussions.

No, no, and no.

The picture seems pretty clear, and it’s just a big giant NO.

So, what’s a rumor mill to do? How about some desperate links to Euro 2020-winners Federico Chiesa or Domenico Berardi? That’ll tide us over!

NV: Drought Drops Lake Mead Water Level To 40 Year Low Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images