Some probable nonsense about Chelsea agreeing transfer fee for goalkeeper Uğurcan Çakır

Chelsea have 99 problems and a Kepa certainly is one. Kepa’s transfer, his contract, his wages are three more problems, not to mention his statistics, like the league-worst save percentage and post-shot xG, or his height, his footwork, his decision-making, his aerial weakness, lack of command, and so on.

That leaves at least 88 more problems, if you’re counting, but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?

Many would certainly be happy to see the (smallish) back of Kepa, as unfeasible as that may be, and any transfer rumor that plays into that would thus be welcome news.

Cue Turkish media outlet Haber 365, who claimed yesterday that Chelsea have agreed a €33m transfer fee for goalkeeper Uğurcan Çakır.

This is something we completely ignored, by rule, given its sourcing — at the risk of continuing to paint an entire country’s football media as untrustworthy — but Twitter plays by different rules and so do English tabloids, who had no problem picking it up this morning.

That doesn’t make the story any more true at the moment, as Goal’s Nizaar Kinsella, a trustworthy source, tweeted yesterday. But that’s like putting a small rock in the middle of a stream. It’s a solid rock, but it’s a wide(ning) stream.

So who’s Uğurcan Çakır? Goalkeeper, obviously. 24 (18 months younger than Kepa). Turkish international with 2 caps. Currently the goalkeeper for title-contenders Trabzonspor, who are a somewhat familiar name in Chelsea circles these days considering Mikel John Obi used to play for them until just a few months ago (when he quit due to the Turkish league’s slow response to the COVID-19 pandemic) and, more pertinently, former Chelsea assistant coach Eddie Newton is their current assistant.

That last bit practically writes its own transfer rumor. Thanks for our new goalkeeper, Eddie!

Çakır has been linked with a handful of teams around Europe, including in the Premier League (his “dream” like for many others), with Trabzonspor expected to try to cash in this summer. That also could mean that eventually Chelsea might make a play.

But not yet.

In any case, here’s a YouTube highlight reel, which Kepa’s got, too, so you know...