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Chelsea ‘plotting’ move for Derby County teenager Max Bird who ‘dazzled’ Lampard & Morris — report

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Of course we are

Derby County v Blackburn Rovers - Sky Bet Championship - Pride Park
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR FEET, MAX BIRD!
Photo by Zac Goodwin/EMPICS/PA Images via Getty Images

Chelsea’s ornithological quotient is set to rise if a story from former Sky Sports rumor merchant Pete O’Rourke has any wings. Now writing for Football Insider and whoever else wants some random rumors, O’Rourke claims that Chelsea are “plotting” a move for Max Bird, a 19-year-old rising star at Derby County.

The Derby academy kid apparently already “dazzled” Frank Lampard and Jody Morris last season already — to the tune of ... eight? ... appearances! So much dazzle wow! — and has only gotten better this season. Some say he’s the team’s best player ahead of an ancient Wayne Rooney, which ... I mean would sure hope so because Wazza’s closer to a successful political career at this point than a football one.

Normally, I would ignore such randomness, but a) it’s not like there’s any actual football going on; b) it’s been picked up by most local and Championship-focused outlets, and c) the connections do add a bit of reasonable weight to things.

Here are some barely interesting nice things Lampard said about the midfielder at the end of last season.

“He stands out as a young man. He is very polite with everyone, has a real desire to improve and he’s a good team-mate. Whether it has been for the youth teams or when he has been with the first team, he is an all-rounder. I have found him to be a great lad and our relationship is really good. I’d be pleased for him as an individual.”

-Frank Lampard; source: Derby Telegraph

Maximum Bird, which is hopefully the kid’s full name, has two years left on his Derby contract, so it’s probably time to either sign him to an extension or sell him for good money.