If there are any aspiring humans, robots, or any other lifeforms, organic or otherwise, looking to get into the business of football players, they might want to study the moves of a certain João Santos. He may not be Mino Raiola — fortunately, there’s only one of him — but he’s certainly playing the agenting game at a world class level.
Having engineered a lucrative move from Napoli to Chelsea two years ago for his main man Jorginho (playing the Blues against Manchester City to the point that the latter actually baulked at the financials), he’s spent most of the past twelve months keeping the fires of Juventus lit, especially once Maurizio Sarri took over as head coach there.
He would say things like “[Jorginho] stays with Chelsea, 100 per cent”, then follow that up a couple days later with “door remains open for Juve”. A month later, he would remind the Old Lady that “[Sarri] needs a player like Jorginho”. And while his efforts proved to be in vain last summer, he was back at in February, just days after the winter transfer window closed, baiting the Juve hook some more. The calendar now says April (while the football calendar still says “closed”), but Santos continues to graft like nobody’s business.
A day after Sarri’s latest links with Jorginho appeared in the Italian media, Mr. Agent was back working the phones publicly as well, putting on his best innocent “who, me?” face.
“I read [the rumors] but I never had contact with them. Neither Sarri, nor [Juve’s chief football officer] Fabio Paratici called me to have information on Jorginho. As of today, I know absolutely nothing about this situation. The lad is very happy in London, where he is proving his worth and still has three years left on his contract.”
The man knows nothing. Look, he’s just an innocent bystander. Stare deep into his puppy eyes; he tells no lies.
Although this next bit may be a bit of overreach.
“In fact, in July there’s the possibility we can start talks to add a fourth and extend his contract with Chelsea. I don’t know what Juve’s transfer strategy is, but these are our plans for the future.”
You’re dreaming, friend.