Chelsea have been linked with a plethora of strikers and forwards in recent days and weeks, with Frank Lampard seemingly pushing for a short-term fix in that regard.
There are three days left in the January transfer window. Presumably nothing will actually happen, and if it does, we probably need to finalize Olivier Giroud’s exit first, and maybe Pedro’s too.
And then there’s the small matter of who would actually come in.
Moussa Dembélé? Nope! Staying at Lyon at least until the summer.
Jadon Sancho? Nope! Staying at BVB until the summer.
Wilfried Zaha? Nope! Staying at Crystal Palace until at least the summer.
Timo Werner? Nope! Staying at RB Leipzig until the summer.
Edinson Cavani? Nope! Probably going to Atlético Madrid.
Krzysztof Piatek? Nope! Going to Spurs possibly, if leaving AC Milan at all.
Gabigol? Nope! Going to Flamengo as expected.
Callum Wilson? Nope! Never not a silly rumor to begin with.
Ollie Watkins? Nope! A Daily Star special.
Luka Jović? Nope. For some reason, we’re not moving on this loan possibility.
Am I forgetting anyone?
You should be sensing a theme by now.