Real Madrid want to swap Bale for Kanté, but also want to swap James Rodriguez for Kanté — reports

Real Madrid’s modus operandi of buying world-class players is widely known and well-documented. We are aware of this fact after losing both Eden Hazard and Thibaut Courtois to their grubby clutches in recent seasons. With N’Golo Kanté remaining as one of the few world-class stars still on Chelsea’s roster, it would be logical to assume that the most decorated club in European history would come after him, especially as they are looking to sign a midfielder.

Real’s interest in our dear N’Golo had been first reported last month, but over the latest international break, the silliness of the rumor mill kicked it up a notch.

El Desmarque initially ran a story about Real trying to give Gareth Bale to Chelsea in addition to €70 million for the all-important midfielder. And if that wasn’t silly enough, the same outlet then also claimed that Real were now providing us with James Rodriguez and €100 million for Kanté.

“Why this change of heart?”, we ask. Is it because Bale loves Spurs too much? Is it because Granovskaia isn’t silly enough to want a 30-year-old, injury-prone, gargantuan-wage-earning declining winger to replace a 32-year-old, far less injury-prone, far less paid declining winger in Pedro? Or is it because none of this stuff is actually true and fabricating stories is a good way to engage the audience? This is a question to which we may never find an answer.

If we squint hard enough, James Rodriguez could be made to look enticing, but it would be nigh impossible to accommodate him in an already bloated attacking midfield. Mason Mount has been in stellar form, and with Ruben Loftus-Cheek set to return from injury in the next few months, James would be an unnecessary addition, to say the least, especially when we look to be on course to take over the world with our youth brigade.

While it's unlikely that Kante will retire at Chelsea and we will have to sadly part with him someday, now's not the time to sell our best and most lovable player when he is at his peak.

His contract runs through 2023, and Real certainly won’t find it as easy as they did with Courtois, or even Hazard. Despite the paper’s insistence that Kanté is unhappy at Chelsea and wants to migrate to Spain due to Chelsea stalling under Frank Lampard (lol?), if Kanté is whom Real Madrid want, they will have a fight and a half on their hands.

Perhaps they would find it more efficient and effective to focus their time, energy, attention and money on a certain Christian Eriksen or a certain Paul Pogba.