No sleep for Chelsea, Napoli lawyers unti Sarri deal done — report

It was supposed to be easier after July 1st, wasn’t it? July 3rd was possibly even going to be the day! Ancelotti was officially as official as official could be at Napoli, Chelsea had stayed away from activating silly buyout clauses on Napoli’s bad players (congrats on your contract extension, Raúl Albiol), and De Laurentiis was going to give us all a break for whatever reason, or some such. At least one report guessed that the deal might even happen for free, thus somewhat justifying Chelsea’s wait-and-hope strategy this summer.

It is now July 4, and still no Sarri. As the United States celebrates its Independence Day, Maurizio Sarri remains locked down under an alien invasion, the shields are still up, and Jeff Goldblum is busy fighting dinosaurs. Where’s President Bill Pullman when you need him!?

Sarri’s fate remains in the hands of less inspiring men, the lawyers. Alfredo Pedulla, whose internet fame has been just about the only beneficiary of this saga, claims in his latest update that lawyers on both sides met for a day of “highly armored contacts” but not much “breakage” in said armor on either side. (It’s unclear if these are some of the same lawyers who were trolling with the €150m fee the other day.)

Reports over the weekend from closer to home claimed Chelsea would have Sarri in place by the start of next week and pre-season training (July 9), but Pedulla says there are no announcements scheduled at the moment. And so the lawyers work night and day.

We’ve had the hot days, the imminent days, the patient days, the crucial days, and the non-belligerent days. We’ve had flights taken and flights canceled, phone calls made and phone calls not made. We’ve now arrived at the sleepless nights.

No sleep til Sarriball. Or until someone shoots the alien ship down and out pops Antonio Conte.