Bournemouth set to sign Nathan Aké from Chelsea today for £20m — report

We go to Sky Sports for some BREAKING news. Hang on to your butts!

Boy howdy, that’s some BREAKING news! BREAKING the Internet as we speak.

What’s that?

We already knew this two days ago and were told then that the signing should go through within the next 48 hours, which would mean that it would go through today at some point?

Oh.

Well, thanks, I guess, Sky.

Sky Sports: We only do BREAKING news. All the news that’s fit to BREAKING. All BREAKING news, all the BREAKING time. Sky Sports, it’s BREAKING news somewhere.

Here’s non-breaking news from yesterday from the Evening Standard.

So anyway, in case you’ve been stuck under six-ton truck for the past few days and you’re not Magnús Ver Magnússon and thus unable to lift it off your chest so you can check the news, Nathan Aké is heading to Bournemouth. If you’re thus without a youth prospect spirit animal, be sure to invest your hopes and dreams and Andreas Christensen, the next sure thing to “make it” at Chelsea. Geh-ron-teed, or your money back.

The Cherries are paying Chelsea a club record (for them) £20m for Nathan Benjamin Aké, which is a fairly hilarious and possibly hilariously unfair sum, if you think about it — especially if, as reported, it also includes a buyback clause. In fact, according to Football 365, Aké’s only the third £20m+ player (and the first defender) to be bought by a mid-table team in Premier League history — and that’s despite the ridiculous amounts of money flowing into the league in recent years.

The only other two? Christian Benteke to Crystal Palace (£27m) and André Ayew to West Ham (£20m), both last year. I’m not counting Islam Slimani’s transfer to Leicester City since the Foxes were champions at the time, and I’m ignoring any transfers made by the most ambitious even: Chelsea, City, United, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Everton. For the full list of 91 players, be sure to click over to F365. It’s mildly fascinating.

Here are the 11 previous £20m+ transfers of center backs by Premier League teams. Aké would get knocked down one more step if/when Everton complete the £25m Michael Keane signing.

1. John Stones (Man City): £47.5m
2. Eliaquim Mangala (Man City): £42m
3. Shkodran Mustafi (Arsenal): £35m
4. David Luiz (Chelsea, 2nd time): £34m
5. Nicolas Otamendi (Man City): £32m
6. Victor Lindelof (Man Utd): £30.75m
7. Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd): £30m
8. Eric Bailly (Man Utd): £30m
9. Joleon Lescott (Man City): £22m
10. David Luiz (Chelsea, 1st time): £21.3m
11. Dejan Lovren (Liverpool): £20m

So long and good luck, Nathan Aké. Thanks for all the Gullit-hair comparisons.