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Slow news day leads to more Conte transfer ‘anger’ because he’s 5 years old

Next up on news of the world, squirrel resembling Abraham Lincoln found

Thursday was a bit of a slow day for Chelsea news. The calm before the storm, if you will, that’s set to hit on Saturday as the calendar rolls over to July, the new megastore rolls open its Nike-fied doors and Willy Caballero rolls into town for selfies with the literally dozens of fans who are possibly rolling up for this re-opening nonsense.

But maybe I’m underestimating the general hunger for “progress” and Chelsea’s jazzed up event on July 1st will be worth the time and hassle.

In any case, what’s a fella to do on a slow day? Stir up some [spit], that’s what. Take it away, David Woods, “Chief Football Writer” at the Daily Star.

BUT WAIT! That’s not all.

If you act now, there’s a second piece that says basically the same exact thing but with a different headline.

If you don’t deem those links worthy of a click, which you probably shouldn’t, they’re the same basic nonsense that the Italian media tried to run a couple weeks ago, that Chelsea since vehemently debunked (while also drawing a very clear line should Conte get/continue any delusions of grandeur), and all but Duncan Castles have stopped running with. Conte unhappy with transfers (other than Bakayoko), Conte doesn’t want Lukaku (wants Morata no wait Belotti), doesn’t want Alex Sandro, doesn’t want Caballero, doesn’t want to sign the new contract, etc, etc, boring, boring, boring.

Of course, now these will get picked up by others as the new days begins — and I realize we’re adding to the noise in a way, but hopefully also talking some sense — so that should be fun for a few hours.

Considering that Conte reportedly just met with both Granovskaia and Abramovich as well, if he’s at all unhappy, then he seriously needs to start making peace with the way things are done at Chelsea. If he can’t, then he’s not long for the hot seat and that’s just the harsh and sad reality of it. But if that’s the case, then we also have to question his judgement and intelligence in signing the contract in the first place.

So, what’s more likely, that Conte is a silly idiot who signed up for a job without knowing what it entailed and now he’s going to throw it all away, or that these tabloid reports are sensationalist nonsense — I know, SHOCKING — and that Conte’s working relationship with the rest of the decision-makers at the club is just fine, just as multiple reports from more trusted sources have assured us not just this summer but many times since September?

Exactly.

Tabloids rely in large part on the readers’ gullibility and idiocy. But you’re smart than that, right?

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