If you entertained even a shred of hope that Robert Lewandowski was going to end up at Chelsea this summer after yesterday’s shenanigans by his agent ... which you shouldn’t have because, again, agent shenanigans ... but if for some reason you still did, we have some very bad terrible horrible no good atrocious even worse news for you. Guillem Balagué has jumped on board and has revealed in classic Balagué style that both Chelsea and Manchester United have talked to the agent (job done, Mr. Agent) and that Lewandowski would prefer London (i.e. Chelsea?) but that Manchester United are “very keen” whatever that means. Then again, as we said before, what club wouldn’t be “very keen” on Lewandowski?
Lewandowski: Both Chelsea and MUFC have spoken to his agents. London preferred choice, but MUFC, very keen and last chat was yesterday 2/2 pic.twitter.com/IRk28a3GRE— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) June 21, 2017
Here’s a scene that will never play out.
AGENT: Please go and tell your master that I have been charged by LewanGODski with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for the next five years, he can join us in our quest for ALL THE TROPHIES.
CLUB: Well, we'll ask him, but we don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
AGENT: Are you sure he's got one?
CLUB: Oh yes. It's very nice
In any case, the trouble with Balagué is that his report appears to build on exactly what the Polish journalist was reporting yesterday before dialing it back from a contact to just mere interest. And then there’s the mere fact that Balagué, the Spanish football “expert” at Sky has become a bit of a running joke when it comes to transfer rumors, even when he’s reporting on Spanish players, let alone Polish players playing in Germany with a very-very low possibility of going to England. It’s not quite Tancredi-level, but it’s pretty close.
Here’s just a taste of things Balagué has gotten wrong in recent times. Sadly, the thread hasn’t been updated for a while.
Guillem Fraud Balague thread.— Deniz Andres (@Koezo123) August 8, 2016
Be sure to click on that to see the long list of replies.
Speaking of replies, perhaps this guy summed it up the best when responding to Balagué’s Lewa tweet.
If you told me it was sunny I'd wear a raincoat.— Ryan (@ClassicCantona) June 21, 2017