It’s time to turn it up to eleven, and then keep turning and keep turning and keep turning until you’re way past eleven and until you’re way past things Kirk Lazarus might warn you about and until you’re way past time and space like you’re floating in a tesseract and cobbling together a happy ending, and then you might finally be on the level required to produce something like this.
Belgium’s Sport/Voetbalmagazine there with the photoshop straight outta uncanny valley and the words to scare you even more. He’s on his way. Packing his bags to be the “successor of CR7” and the next Galáctico that will keep Real Madrid president Florentino Perez in power this summer, just as the signings of Cristiano (2009) and Bale (2013) propelled him to victory in the nowadays quadrennial dog and pony show of Real Madrid presidential elections.
How does Sport/Football magazine know this? From “a reliable source” of course, who’s also told them that talks have been supposedly ongoing since November and that Hazard has already signed an agreement with Real Madrid.
Well then. Let’s see what someone we know to be reliable and reasonable thinks of all this nonsense?
“Not everything seems right,” says Kristof Terreur. Presumably the parts about Real being interested are true, as are the parts about Chelsea and Hazard looking to sit down and hash out an early extension this summer.
The rest we can probably file in the trash bin, on top of all the rest of the Real Madrid (and PSG) rumors that have followed Hazard since his arrival at Chelsea.