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Open season at Chelsea for speculation over Costa, Müller, Morata, all the strikers

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SIGN ALL/NONE OF THE STRIKERS

Chelsea v Everton - Premier League Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images

The “made up story”, as Antonio Conte called it, of Diego Costa and his uncertain future at Chelsea continues unabashedly and, in what’s sure to be a pleasing development for the tabloids, has sprung countless additional speculation over countless other strikers as well. While Chelsea remain adamant, according to most, if not all rumors, that we will not sell Costa, that’s not preventing anyone from lining up several replacements already.

Perhaps the most hilarious one is the Express claiming a £75m move for Bayern-for-life-man Thomas Müller, who’s having a subpar season and thus may or may not be the happiest bunny this side of Bavaria. Müller’s many things — a space investigator! — but he’s not a center forward of the Costa mold. What nonsense is this?

Someone who is actually a center forward is Álvaro Morata, but I’m pretty sure that ship sailed last summer. Not according to The Sun, which like its namesake star, rises every new day with a fresh heaping of BS.

Joining Morata is another ex-Juve man, Fernando Llorente. He’s obviously experienced and familiar with the system, but the only sense he makes is a backup, not as a replacement — not to mention, why would Swansea sell? Similarly, the earlier rumors about Chicharito make more sense in terms of addition rather than replacement.

If we’re looking for more drama, there’s always Mario Balotelli, who’s back in business in France and has apparently already held talks with Premier League clubs about a potential return.

Slightly less dramatic would be anything to do with Romelu Lukaku, who may or may not end up signing a new contract at Everton while continuing to entertain “dreams” of Chelsea.

Or just recall Tammy Abraham and Bertrand Traoré, right? Here’s Tammy with his 15th goal of the season, one more than Costa. Take that!

As far as Costa himself, he’s possibly demanding a raise, possibly once again fed up with life in England, or possibly just keeping to himself and waiting for all this nonsense to blow over. He could possibly even just be injured, but that option no one seems to be considering.

Who even knows anymore.