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Chelsea bid over £30m for David Luiz, negotiations in progress -- report

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I'm still not sure when Jim White crossed the line from Deadline Day TV Presenter to Twitter rumor monger, but here he is again with some breaking news regarding David Luiz.  I'm trying to stay calm.

Deep breaths.  I'm trying to stay calm.

Here are further "confirmations", courtesy of White's bosses at Sky Sports, and also the Mirror, for good measure.

Oh. My.

There's no way this can turn out to be true, can it?  This is too good.

I'm trying to stay calm.  The rational brain is losing.