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Today in OMG DID YOU SEE THAT BUY BUY BUY: France's Dimitri Payet!

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The star of Day 1 at Euro 2016.

Paul Gilham/Getty Images

Once you get past the three times as many i's in his name than is absolutely necessary, Dimitri Payet sure sounds like someone Chelsea should be going after.  One of the breakout starts of the 2015-16 Premier League (can you be a breakout star at 29?), plenty passed on Payet before he picked and packed for East London and West Ham United.  And now, all he's done at Euro 2016 is win the tournament for France!

Or at least the first game.

Look at that emotion.  Hashtag-passion.

And if you think it's just the Twitters on the comment sections who are going gaga over Dima — a time-honored tradition during big international tournaments to buy buy buy the latest and greatest on a moment's notice (maybe not for you, you Payet-stalker, but for many others) — think again, buster.

The Oracle currently has boots on the ground in Paris, and he brings tidings of massive transfer fees and wages for the West Ham star.  Apparently the Hammers wouldn't take anything less than £60m and Payet would no doubt want an increase on his £120k/week salary as well.

Chelsea had recently enquired about the player but at the moment it seems Payet isn't moving from West Ham. To even sit at a table with West Ham for player, you will need a very fat wallet.

-source: Gianluca Di Marzio

But what if you carry your money in briefcases?

CFC:  Hello, this is Chelsea.   We'd like to enquire about Payet.  Our wallets are fat enough to be briefcases.
WUFC:  Good for you. But no.
CFC:  You haven't even heard out offer!
WUFC:  Don't care.

In any case, Dimitri Payet's certainly on top of the Francophone world at the moment.  He's come a long way since playing third fiddle to Eden Hazard and a washed-up Joe Cole at Lille some five years ago.  There were questions of consistency, of attitude, of flat out madness (a year earlier, the referee had to separate him form then-teammate Blaise Matuidi at ASSE in a dispute over a pass).  The only questions that are asked now is didn't others come for him when Marseille were forced to sell last summer.

Now, it's too late.