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Latest Chelsea FC Transfer Rumors: Abramovich keen on Antoine Griezmann, Javier Pastore

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Rumors and rumors and rumors and rumors and bacon strips.

Manuel Queimadelos Alonso/Getty Images

Sometimes, I get the feeling that if transfer rumors stopped, the whole footballing world would grind to a halt.  You know those ominous warnings about dropping viewership on Sky — kids and their attention spans these days... — that'd be small potatoes compared to the system cratering in upon itself as we'd be plunged back into the dark ages of steel-toed boots and leather balls and muddy fields and Tony Pulis.  That is, if the transfer rumors stopped.

But you cannot stop the transfer rumors, Mal.  There is no news.  There's just the truth of the signal.  And there's the puppet theater, foisted upon the somnambulant public baying at the rumor mill troth.  Feed me!  Feed me.

ANTOINE GRIEZMANN

Whatever 'Mercato365' are, they deemed it wise enough to re-hash the rumors from about a month ago about Roman Abramovich earmarking a cool €100m for Antoine Griezmann.  This €100m for a new paintjob on the helicopter pad.  This €100m for new toys for the petite giraffes.  This €100m for greased lightning.

Just another day in oligarchia.

JAVIER PASTORE

This one's slightly more interesting, though the name's also more than familiar.

There was a time when Chelsea looked odds-on favorites to sign the Argentinian attacking midfielder, but he ended up joining PSG instead and we were glad for it because we got Juan Mata for 50% less instead and there were some financial shenanigans surrounding Pastore's transfer out of Palermo.  Hard to believe, but that was over five years ago now!

Pastore has since made over 200 appearances for PSG and at age 27, he's practically ready to retire now.  Or try his luck at a new challenge.  Or something.

Either way, Chelsea are involved, apparently, which can't quite be said for Pastore and PSG so far this season.  Granted, he's been injured, and has not played since September due to some calf problems.  But let's not have the facts get in the way.

Yeah, but is he thinking positive or negative thoughts?

The signal will now repeat in 5... 4... 3... 2...