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The dumbest transfer story ever, starring Juan Mata, David Moyes, Diego Costa, and Filipe Luis

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The Telegraph outdid itself today. Amazing.

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Clive Rose

I just got done writing about Phil Lythell's piece for ESPN, which actually looked at a potential Juan Mata transfer from a logical perspective. Now, I'm writing about this:

Atlético Madrid are hoping to hijack Manchester United's attempts to sign Juan Mata by offering David Moyes first option on striker Diego Costa and Brazilian full-back Filipe Luis if he withdraws from the race for the Chelsea midfielder.

- Mark Ogden and Matt Law, The Telegraph

Wait...what? The papers are reporting that Manchester United are willing to pay a decent amount for Juan Mata, a player that Atletico apparently covet but almost certainly can't afford. Chelsea have a desperate need for a striker like Diego Costa, and their next most pressing need could well be depth at left back. Chelsea have been heavily linked to Costa of late. Therefore, Atletico Madrid will offer first option on an exceptional striker* and a quality left back to Manchester United instead of Chelsea in order to get United to back out of a move that Atletico can't afford anyway. Logic. Yay.

*Costa has a reasonable buyout, and triggering said buyout would nullify any "first option"

If you were going to make up a story, wouldn't you put a little more thought into it than this? Even by silly season standards, this one is just dumb. Well done guys, take a bow.