Bayern Munich appoint Thomas Tuchel as new head coach

Bayern Munich have shocked the football establishment by sacking Julian Nagelsmann, and appointing Thomas Tuchel in his stead.

The news broke on Twitter last night, because 2023, with Nagelsmann himself learning of his impending sacking through social media as well. He was eventually delivered the boot in person earlier today, and not the kind filled with Oktoberfest bier.

Tuchel, who apparently has been living in Munich for the past couple months — after his work visa ran out in Brexitland — has signed a contract through 2025, which is one year less than Nagelsmann still had on his Bayern contract (and on which he will continue collecting until he finds a new job; Real Madrid are a popular pick for that eventuality).

Tuchel’s usual crew of Arno Michels and Zsolt Lőw will accompany him, while there’s been some speculation already that he could come knocking for Anthony Barry at Chelsea as well.

Nagelsmann’s results at Bayern weren’t bad by most standards, but they were bad by the standards of Bayern, who aren’t in the business of waiting around for three-year projects to maybe come good. There was plenty of off-field and training-ground drama as well of course, as there always is with Bayern, but it would appear that results — stemming for a failure the maximize the capabilities of the squad — were the main motivation for his sacking.

Tuchel, who delivered six cup finals and three trophies in 18 months, not to mention our highest points total in the league since winning it all, will be expected to produce similar success in Munich. Drama will be expected as well, though maybe he will fit in as smoothly as he had at Chelsea in the before times.

And he will have to produce immediately, with a title-showdown against Borussia Dortmund coming up next weekend, followed by their Champions League quarterfinals against Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City. It would be hilarious if Tuchel knocked them out again — which of course could then set up a semifinals against us, provided we get past Real Madrid.

Congrats and good luck, TT.