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Andreas Christensen probably would’ve wanted to have a different end to his Chelsea career, too

Well, bye

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Chelsea v Wolverhampton Wanderers - Premier League Photo by Stephanie Meek - CameraSport via Getty Images

I briefly contemplated going with the headline “Andreas Christensen leaves Chelsea in a blaze of explosive diarrhea”, but that may prove harsh and unfair if we ever learn why exactly he pulled out of the Chelsea squad on the morning of Saturday’s FA Cup final, leaving the rest of his team in a scramble.

The 26-year-old was reportedly not injured, though the Telegraph cite sources “close to the player” who claim that “he had been feeling unwell” and “had not expected to named in the starting lineup”. The first excuse brings to mind Maurizio Sarri’s classic line about Christensen always being nervous and having the shits on matchday. (Sarri didn’t rate him much, it should be noted.)

The second excuse brings to mind that Christensen’s leaving in the summer, but unlike fellow departee Antonio Rüdiger, he’s managing to do so amid not entirely unfounded questions about his level of commitment and professionalism.

The Telegraph’s report does not discount the possibility of us having already seen the last of him in a Chelsea shirt, despite two home games still remaining.

It’s a sad and unfortunate look at the very least, especially for a player who spent a decade on the books and became a trailblazer in showing that the Loan Army route is in fact a viable path towards an actual Chelsea career.

On the plus side, Christensen’s absence gave Trevoh Chalobah another opportunity to prove himself, which he did once again. That should bode well for our future.

After Saturday’s defeat, Rüdiger reflected that he didn’t want his Chelsea career to end in such a way. Christensen probably feels the same way — assuming he still gives two shits.

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