Newcastle United vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch

This preview arrives some hours after I had originally intended it to, thanks to the utter frustration of changing the battery in a BMW. You would think this would be a simple task, disconnect the old one, put in the new one, presto change-o, good to go.

But oh no, that would be far too simple. You have to register the battery with the car so it gets charged properly, and also recode the system if you changed capacity. Gotta have that synergy! I avoided the latter hassle by using the same exact type and amp-hour-rated unit, but when I turned the car back on, things lit up like a way too early Christmas tree. ABS, DSC, xDrive (AWD), Servotronic (power steering), you name it. Turn up the lights in here baby, extra bright, I want y’all to see this.

You can usually reset (most of) that by turning the wheel all the right, then all the way left, but the power steering being out was new to me and was thus giving me pause. Maybe there is something wrong, I thought, plus you’re supposed to do the registration right away. So I figured I’d connect my scanner, and do that, and then see what’s what with the Etihad-esque pre-game light show.

But the scanner just wouldn’t connect, and it kept complaining about the cable or the diagnostics OBD port not working. Uh-oh. Did I blow something in the electronics or the onboard computers? I checked all the fuses. All seemed good. Switched the OBD fuse with the parking brake fuse. No change in either. Still can’t connect. Here comes that awkward heart in mouth phase. I’ll never hear the end of this. Did I bite off more than I could chew? Messing with things I shouldn’t have? A few years ago I couldn’t even do an oil change, these days I can rebuild suspensions. But anything electrical can be extra complex and sensitive.

A bit of Googling just added to the gathering awkward sweatiness, that panicky feeling hurtling towards overwhelming: people talking about the transmission not working, entire modules needing to be pirated (BMW doesn’t like others touching their stuff) and recoded, windows, doors, etc. Just how badly did I break this?

I backed out of the garage. Reverse works! Drove back in. Drive works! I muscled the wheel all the way right, then all the way left. Warning lights gone!

Tried connecting the scanner again. Still nothing. So then I tried to connect it to another car. Also nothing.

Turns out the cable’s broken. Everything else, (probably) okay.

Sometimes, it’s the little things.

Maybe Graham Potter will find that little thing as well soon.

Date / Time: Saturday, November 12, 2022, 17.30 GMT; 12:30pm EST; 11pm IST
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle, England
Referee: Robert Jones (on pitch); Andy Madley (VAR)
Forecast: Not too cold

On TV: Sky Sports Main Event (UK); NBC, Universo (USA); Star Sports Select HD1 (India); SuperSport Premier League, Canal+ Sport 3 (NGA); elsewhere
Streaming: Sky Go (UK); Peacock, Telemundo Deportes En Vivo (USA); Hotstar (India); DStv Now (NGA)

Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images

Newcastle United team news: Eddie Howe celebrated one year in charge by collecting the Premier League Manager of the Month award for October, with his team sitting in third and looking comfortably the best of the rest behind the top two. So, certainly well earned! But that award sometimes can be the harbinger of a bad result or two, since the football gods can be mischievous like that. I’m not saying I believe in magic, but if they want to throw us a bone, I wouldn’t say no.

Barring such meddling, Newcastle can feel confident coming into this game on the back of five straight wins in all competitions and six wins from seven in the league: 19 points collected of a possible 21. (Chelsea have 11 in that span, but only 2 from the last 12 possible.) In fact, they have just one defeat all season, and in all competitions, though also have suffered a fair few draws. Miguel Almirón’s having a career year to lead the team in scoring.

Howe also has a couple injury concerns of note, with striker Callum Wilson under the weather and winger Ryan Fraser battling a calf injury. Matt Ritchie, Alexander Isak, and Paul Dummett are out until at least after the World Cup while Emile Krafth continues to recover from ACL surgery.

View from the enemy: Coming Home Newcastle

Photo by Darren Walsh/Chelsea FC via Getty Images

Chelsea team news: Going to St. James’ Park tends to be a daunting proposition in the best of times, and these certainly aren’t the best of times. Just two wins from seven in all competitions and not much to write home about in terms of the performances either, despite Graham Potter’s unwarranted positivity — though I suppose we might as well try speaking improvements into existence, if nothing else.

We should get Jorginho back after he missed the game on Wednesday, but otherwise the injury situation remains as bad as before. Reece James, Ben Chilwell, N’Golo Kanté, Wesley Fofana, Kepa Arrizabalaga, and Carney Chukwuemeka: hopefully we’ll see them all after the break! Meanwhile, their absences could give a few Academy youngsters a chance, with the likes of Lewis Hall, Omari Hutchinson, and defenders Josh Brooking and Bashir Humphreys all training with the first-team yesterday.

Previously: Chelsea have actually won four in a row against Newcastle, including back-to-back seasons at St James’, and all without conceding a single goal! Let’s hope that run continues today, even if Reecey’s not here to bag a brace...