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Alvaro ‘Jesus Christ’ Morata reveals that joining Atletico was his ingenious plan all along

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4D chess by mastermind Morata!

Club Atletico de Madrid unveil new signing Alvaro Morata Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images

Alvaro Morata has revealed to Madrid-based Diario AS that he promised Atlético Madrid manager Diego Simeone three and a half years ago that he would join the team as soon as it was possible, as soon as the circumstances allowed it.

Well, at least he finally has shown something in common with Diego Costa, right?

“To tell the truth, three and a half years ago, there was the first contact. I gave [Simeone] my word that as soon as I could, I would come. It was not possible before. It did not depend on me. I gave him my word. [...] I’m going to give everything with this shirt.”

At the time, in 2015, Morata was a Juventus player and not having a great time. A year later, Real Madrid had just brought (bought) him back. They certainly weren’t going to sell him to a direct rival. A year later he was heading to Chelsea (almost Manchester United), as the Blues’ record signing. So what’s a fella to do? Play so badly that the team that decided to build a future around you would be forced to send you on your merry way back to your childhood team? That’s some 4D chess us mere mortals couldn’t possibly comprehend. Mission accomplished!

In fairness to the 26-year-old, empty promises are made all the time in professional sports, and things can change very quickly in football, but just a couple months after joining Chelsea, Morata said he wouldn’t mind signing a 10-year contract with the Blues and then last summer he denied (again) any and all rumors of ever wanting to leave the club. Make up your mind, would ya?! Then again, the lost little boy inside that grown man’s body may still not know what he actually wants. Maybe a little love and support? Can he walk on water?

“You cannot be liked by everyone, everywhere. Not even Jesus Christ was liked by everyone. My teammates and the club have taken me in very well and I appreciate that.”

-Álvaro Morata; source: AS

Christ almighty, how’s that career resurrection going? Three games, one win, zero goals, one assist, one yellow, and a spot on the bench as a barely fit Diego Costa gets to start against Juventus today? LOL.