Chelsea ready to send two oldies to Carrousel in January — report

In the year 2274 as humanity faces up to the dire consequences of overpopulation, when a person reaches 30 years of age, they’re sent to Carrousel for “renewal” — renewal right down to their base components, molecules, atoms. Basically, they get incinerated.

While we’re not quite to that level of dystopia yet, we practice our own form of renewal at Chelsea. Minus all the burning alive bits, thankfully.

Two of the oldies first up on the chopping block are reportedly Olivier Giroud, 33, and Pedro, 32, both sitting at the bottom of their respective depth charts (Giroud at striker and Pedro at winger), and both in the final year of their Chelsea contracts. So it’s hardly surprising that Chelsea are apparently willing to “listen to bids” for the pair in January, perhaps hoping to eke out a bit of pocket change before they depart for free at the end of the season. In the case of Giroud especially, this could become a reality indeed as he remains the starting forward for the French national team, but is in need of minutes to ensure he keeps that status for Euro 2020. Both Giroud and France coach Didier Deschamps, as well as Frank Lampard, have acknowledged this situation.

The two Willies, Willian and Willy Caballero also fit into this category, but their futures are less clear. Willian remains a key player and has made it clear he’d like to stay for at least another season. Caballero has been an excellent backup and mentor and if he wants to, there’s little reason he can’t continue in that role, or perhaps transition into coaching (and free up a non-homegrown spot).

One player who hasn’t yet reached the dirty thirty is Marcos Alonso, but Law’s report claims that he’s also “facing a fight over his long-term future”, which is perhaps not not-coincidentally timed with yesterday’s very poor outing from the left back. Alonso would be a fair bit harder to move however, with 3.5 years left on a contract that probably pays him much more than the vast majority of teams would be willing to pay him (see also: Danny Drinkwater, Tiemoue Bakayoko, etc).