Spurs ‘locked in negotiations’ with Jose Mourinho as new head coach — reports

UPDATE: It’s happening.

Tottenham Hotspur shook the football world out of its international break boredom this morning by dropping a Sub Quantum Unified Intrinsic field Device (S.Q.U.I.D.) on the unsuspecting masses and sacking Mauricio Pochettino. In case you’re wondering, they actually beat Chelsea’s sacking of Roberto Di Matteo by two whole days — and more if you consider that the 2012 Champions League final happened on May 19 while the 2019 edition was on June 1 — and are apparently paying over £19m to get it done, a Premier League record!

Coming from frugal-to-a-fault Daniel Levy, that amount speaks to a certain level of desperation — desperation that could be reaching Jose Mourinho panic button levels? Maybe!

Transfer Oracle Fabrizio Romano has already elevated that from a joke to a rumor.

Presumably, Pochettino’s sacking was not a ... spur ... of the moment decision, and Levy has a few replacement candidates in mind already. Romano claims that The Special On(c)e is a “serious possibility” and that he “would be open” to discussions. (Don’t worry about us, the “love story”, the story of passion and heart, is long over, Jose.)

Other rumored candidates for the Tottenham vacancy include the unavailable Julian Nagelsmann or the unemployed Max Allegri, but Mourinho may be more desperate to get himself back into management than the former Juventus boss.

The prospect of Mourinho at Spurs would be equal parts hilarious and scary. But the real question is, would he do better than his former protege Andre Villas-Boas?

Bonus rumor: Di Marzio says Mourinho “the favorite”!

Bonus bonus rumor: Sky says they’re “locked in negotiations”. This might be happening, ladies and germs.