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Get you someone who trusts you as much as Willy Caballero trusts Marcos Alonso’s left foot

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I think Confucius said that. Him or Gandhi, not sure.

Chelsea FC v Newcastle United - Premier League Photo by Paul Harding/Getty Images

Marcos Alonso’s left foot is magical, this is a thing we have known for a while. In fact, since coming to Chelsea in 2016 no defender has scored more goals (19 in all competitions). Be it free kicks or first-time strikes like the one that secured all three points Saturday, Marcos’ left foot is a piece of heavy artillery wrapped in angel hair. In fact, they scrambled the leftover bits on his head.

I would trust Marcos Alonso’s left foot to remove a bullet perilously close to an artery. I would trust it to perform open heart surgery. I would put a paintbrush between its toes and trust it to create a masterpiece so moving no one could look at it for longer than three seconds without bursting into tears from its overwhelming intricacy and beauty.

Apparently Willy Caballero also trusts it in a similar sort of way. On the training ground with a unique bit of machinery, he decided to do what any inquisitive and enthusiastic 9-year-old would do: play with it. His idea was to grab hold of the bar, wrap his feet around the post and turn his body into a 90-degree angle, creating a box that would serve as a target.

It was up to Marcos’ left foot to avoid any contact or near-grazing of our 38-year-old backup keeper, any of which could send him crashing to the ground and onto Chelsea’s lengthy list of injured players with an ailment that would be very difficult and annoying to explain.

What do you think happened?