Giroud said he’d shave his head; maybe something was lost in translation?

Dear, oh dear.

We love Olivier Giroud. He fights, he bleeds, he unifies his team, he never complains. A man of honor, surely? A man of character.

So how to explain this sad state of affairs?

Before the World Cup began, Giroud promised to shave off his magnificent mane if France won the thing. We took him at his word. Who wouldn’t? A man of honor, of character and all that. French TV even tried to get right down to business with clippers, minutes after France secured the FIFA World Cup Trophy.

On Sunday, Giroud took to Twitter to claim he’d made good on his bet. He posted a photo to prove it.

You tell me, does this look like a shaved head? Does it look like the back of a spoon, as one Reddit user put it?

Dear, oh dear. That, Monsieur, is not a shaved head. It’s a buzz cut. It’s close, but not quite.

Our sadness is deeper than the Mariana Trench, wider than the continent of Australia and greater than a chip butty on a Friday night after the pub closes. That’s a lot of sadness, is the point here.

Do the right thing, Olivier. Break out the razor and make it shine!