Official: Maurizio Sarri announced as new Chelsea head coach

After nearly two months of “will they, won’t they”, Chelsea have finally decided to put everyone out of their misery and announce Maurizio Sarri as the club’s new head coach. No more hot days, no more torrid weather!

Considering how preseason has already started, Sarri won’t get too much time to celebrate the end of this overdrawn and unnecessarily painful saga. He will have to get to work immediately, if not sooner. The 2018-19 Premier League season begins in four (4) weeks.

Time to work, work work. Wait, that’s not in his script! We are having some technical difficulties, it seems. Typical!

“I look forward to starting work and meeting the players on Monday ahead of travelling to Australia, where I will be able to get to know the squad and begin our match action.

“I hope we can provide some entertaining football for our fans, and that we will be competing for trophies at the end of the season, which is what this club deserves.”

-Maurizio Sarri; source: Chelsea FC

Hopefully, Chelsea can indeed start the season on the right foot under Sarri’s guidence, now that he’s here, while enjoying the beautiful, aesthetically pleasing football that we have been promised. (Why is he waiting until Monday to start?)

“We are delighted to welcome Maurizio and are looking forward to him bringing his football philosophy to Chelsea.

“Maurizio’s Napoli side played some of the most exciting football in Europe, impressing with their attacking approach and dynamism, and his coaching methods significantly improved the players at his disposal.

“He has plenty of experience in Serie A and the Champions League and we know he is relishing the chance to work in the Premier League.”

-Marina Granovskaia; source: Chelsea FC

Welcome, Maurizio Sarri! May your reign be long and bountiful.

TIME FOR SOME SARRISMO ... and lots of sorry Sarri puns.