Aurelio de Laurentiis is famous for many things. He owns a movie business. He owns an historic football club. He likes riding away in style on scooters. (Nobody makes him bleed his own blood, right, White?) He likes the sound of his own voice, and he likes trolling other teams, especially those who covet his players of managers. Chelsea have fallen into that latter trap more often than we can count ever since the Edinson Cavani saga of 2012. And 2013. And 2014. Yep.
Two summers ago, for example, he led us on a merry song-and-dance for Kalidou Koulibaly before finally slamming the door shut. In 2013, he literally sang a song of Marina. More recently, he claimed that the aforementioned K2 man-mountain was worth €100m or maybe even €120m, even though his release clause is reportedly €70m. And even more recently, he’s decided to hold Maurizio Sarri hostage over his release clause, even though he’s already hired a replacement manager!
This probably endears him to Napoli fans just as much as it annoys the rest of us. So what’s the secret to his success? What’s the method behind the madness? Who knows. But perhaps this video of him blowing out the trick-candles on his birthday cake can provide a hint. Look closely.
Amidst all the sparkling, there is a clear message written on the cake. “Ancelotti is fine, Koulibaly must stay!”
In Silly Season, many things are fake, but the cake, the cake is not a lie.
(So yeah, no Koulibaly for Chelsea, in case you were wondering.)