Desperate Courtois left pale at the suggestion of Conte coming to Real Madrid — report

Thibaut Courtois is “most desperate”, claims anti-Mourinho journalist Diego Torres in today’s El País newspaper, desperate to avoid a reunion with either Antonio Conte or José Mourinho in the Spanish capital.

Whether that’s true or not — and we had certainly been conditioned over the Mourinho years to take anything Diego Torres writes with a few grains of salt — it’s hilarious.

Torres’s spies in the dressing room, who are numerous by all accounts, report that when news of Real Madrid supposedly considering Conte as Julen Lopetegui’s replacement reached Courtois ears, he turned “pale” and exclaimed ¡DIOS MÍO! (probably) and then spontaneously combusted (probably not).

“I cannot believe it!” They heard him say. ”Here I am the only one who has worked with Conte and with Mourinho. I left London to not have to go through something like that again and now it turns out that Conte comes, and if not, Mourinho.”

-Diego Torres Fly On The Wall

Torres describes Courtois as “más desolado”, which translates to “most devastated”.

Hang on.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

No, wait.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I really want that to be true.

Whom does Courtois want? Roberto Martinez apparently. Whom does the rest of the dressing room want? Probably not Conte nor Mourinho either. Torres reports that Benzema, Ramos, and Marcelo were all very concerned by those rumors, too. It’s perhaps worth noting that it was Torres who had previously claimed that it wasn’t Conte who rejected Real Madrid this summer (due to still being employed by Chelsea), but rather an intervention from that trio (and especially Sergio Ramos), after a few phone calls to certain Chelsea players, is what led to Real dropping the idea of going after Conte.

Have they re-re-considered? The rumor mill certainly would have us believe that.

Then again, Conte’s own brother Daniele has recently poured cold water on these suggestions, claiming that they are not in contact with Crisis Club.

“Antonio is on vacation, he has not received any calls from Real Madrid. Yes, Real Madrid is a great club although there have been no contacts.”

-Daniele Conte; source: Cadena SER

Still, Lopetegui’s days at Madrid’s helm are surely numbered. And so may be Conte’s vacation days.

As far as Courtois, it’s unclear what his beef may or may not be with Conte, but hopefully he’s enjoying all that quality time he gets to spend picking balls out of the back of his own net with his kids.