NEW TO ME:
Dying.
That last one is the classic Bergkamp goal against Argentina, easily one of the greatest goals I've ever seen live.
That said, my favorite bit of goal commentary remains Sebastián Vignolo and former World Cup-winning manager Carlos Alberto Bilardo going nuts over Maxi Rodriguez's tremendous goal against Mexico. It helps that the audio and the video are slightly desynced, so that it looks like Bilardo is a fortune teller with his "arco". Still, Vignolo is great and the goal of course is hilariously awesome.
FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
12.05: PL2 D1, 10th vs. 5th: Tottenham Hotspur U23 vs. CHELSEA U23
19.55: FA Cup, 3rd round: West Ham United vs. Manchester City