Eden Hazard can finally stop stinking up the place at Chelsea

Manchester United recently vaulted back to the top of football’s rich list, thanks in large part to their numerous sponsorship deals and various other partnerships for everything from shirts and training kits to health supplements and tractors. We watch the football on the pitch, but the real game of modern football is being played behind closed doors, with all these sponsorships and big-money agreements and of course all the player transfer shenanigans.

The latter will be receiving plenty of attention in the next 36 hours as we head into Transfer Deadline Day, but Chelsea have been busy on the commercial side of things as well. Over the weekend, Chelsea announced a parternship with HotelTonight, who facilitate last-minute bookings at reasonable rates. Fans attending Chelsea matches at various football grounds can now use the App to book a nearby hotel at a moment’s notice, which sounds fairly useful unless you’ve heard of this thing called planning ahead, but apparently that’s a dying art.

The trouble with staying overnight without necessarily planning for it is that you often end up without personal items like a change of clothes, a toothbrush, and some deodorant — three things essential to acceptable personal hygiene in the modern world. Fortunately, Chelsea realized this, too, so the club have signed up a deodorant brand as a new sponsor as well.

Sure (which is marketed as Degree in the USA and Rexona in most other places) thus becomes Chelsea’s “personal care partner” while Eden Hazard becomes a brand ambassador for the “UK’s number one male deodorant” and can finally stop stinking up the place with his armpits.

As a man who sweats far too easily and far too much thanks to my highly evolved genetics, I tell ya, the struggle is real!