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Arsenal 3-0 Chelsea, Player Ratings: The many faces of Dejected Gary Cahill

Chelsea v Club Atletico de Madrid - UEFA Champions League Semi Final Photo by Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

It's always a bit of misnomer to do this post whenever Chelsea lose, but when the loss so unequivocally bad as the 3-0 reverse to Arsenal on Saturday, it's downright laughable to talk about "three stars" and the "Man of the Match" and whatnot.

Diego Costa was perhaps the only player not to have to hang his head in shame after those awful 90 minutes. He's the obvious "Man of the Match", as far as anyone can be Man of the Match when your team loses 3-0 and doesn't have a shot on target until the 84th minute.

For academic purposes, here's the full rundown.

STARTERS:
Courtois (4.3), Azpilicueta (4.9), David Luiz (4.9), Cahill (2.0), Ivanović (2.4), Kanté (4.6), Matić (3.8), Fàbregas (4.0), Hazard (3.9), Costa (6.2), Willian (4.0)

SUBS:
Alonso (4.9), Batshuayi (5.1), Pedro (4.1)


In case you’re wondering, yes, Gary Cahill’s 2.0 is indeed a brand new record low in the four-year history of WAGNH player ratings. You might think Fernando Torres had held the record previously, but it was in fact Cahill who had it already, garnering a 2.1 for his efforts in the 5-3 loss against Spurs on New Year’s Day 2015. You might say that was more impressive given the good feels around the club in general that season (next lowest for the year was a 3.5 from ... wait for it ... also Gary Cahill against Newcastle, way).

TOP 5 INGLORIOUS PERFORMANCES, 2012-2016:

  1. GARY CAHILL, Arsenal (A), 2016-17 Premier League — 2.0
  2. GARY CAHILL, Spurs (A), 2014-15 Premier League — 2.1
  3. BRANISLAV IVANOVIĆ, Porto (A), 2015-16 Champions League — 2.4
  4. BRANISLAV IVANOVIĆ, Crystal Palace (A), 2015-16 Premier League — 2.4
  5. BRANISLAV IVANOVIĆ, Arsenal (A), 2016-17 Premier League — 2.4

For what it’s worth, the 4.2 overall average for this game is not an all-time low. That honor, I’m pretty sure, still goes to the 1-0 loss to Steaua Bucharest in the Europa League.

In any case, in honor of Cahill’s great achievement, I present to you, dear Reader, the Many Faces of Gary Cahill.

Dejected:

England v Iceland - Round of 16: UEFA Euro 2016 Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images

Dejected again:

Arsenal v Chelsea - Premier League Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

Highly dejected:

Chelsea v Swansea City - Capital One Cup Semi-Final Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images

Comfortably dejected:

Crystal Palace v Chelsea - Premier League Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images

Internationally dejected:

England v Iceland - Round of 16: UEFA Euro 2016 Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Even Wayne Rooney feels sorry for you dejected:

Uruguay v England: Group D - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

Pre-Chelsea dejected:

Bolton Wanderers v Arsenal - Premier League Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

DARKNESS; NO PARENTS

FC Porto v Chelsea FC - UEFA Champions League Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images

SUPER RICH; KINDA MAKES IT BETTER

Chelsea v Sunderland - Premier League Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

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