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The Daily Hilario: The ultimate villain

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

LIKED THE PARALLEL WITH JOHN DOE IN SE7EN:

TECATITOOOOOOO:

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
19.45:  Champions League, playoff, 2nd leg:  APOEL vs. København (0-1 agg.)
19.45:  Champions League, playoff, 2nd leg:  Salzburg vs. Dinamo Zagreb (1-1 agg.)
19.45:  Champions League, playoff, 2nd leg:  Manchester City vs. Steaua Bucharest (5-0 agg.)
19.45:  Champions League, playoff, 2nd leg:  Rostov vs. Ajax Amsterdam (1-1 agg.)
19.45:  Champions League, playoff, 2nd leg:  Gladbach vs. Young Boys (3-1 agg.)
19.45:  League Cup, 2nd round:  Morecambe vs. AFC Bournemouth
19.45:  League Cup, 2nd round:  Accrington Stanley vs. Burnley
19.45:  League Cup, 2nd round:  Fulham vs. Middlesbrough
19.45:  League Cup, 2nd round:  Sunderland vs. Shrewsbury Town