Remember Alexandre Pato?
Legend has it he once wore Chelsea blue (or black, as it were), and even scored a goal. I don't quite remember anymore; it's all been repressed. I think he used to smile a lot, which was weird, because the whole season was a giant sh*tshow and why would anybody be laughing at that?
But Pato definitely was and he was enjoying himself in the SW6, getting fit, sitting on the bench, posting to Instagram, living the life.
Meanwhile, back in the real world, his loan contract at Chelsea is expiring today. Officially. And unless Chelsea pick up the buy-option, Pato's probably heading back to Brazil. Surely, if we were going to sign him, we would've picked up said option by now.
Maybe we just forgot? Sometimes I sleep through multiple alarms before finally waking. Here's Pato's agent with one final, desperate reminder.
"Pato has already [reportedly] signed with Inter, Sao Paulo, Palmeiras, Flamengo -- how is he going to sign when he has a contract with Chelsea until June 30?"
"He has a document there ready for a four-year contract if Chelsea wished to exercise it. I do not know if they are going to, I am not Roman Abramovich. If they decide not to buy him, it will be up to Corinthians to decide what to do. Pato is on holiday waiting on his future."
BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Nope. Sorry. Snooze it is.
Wait, the option for the four(!)-year contract has now expired? Oh darn... I guess we'll just have to go ahead with this Michy Batshuayi business instead.