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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 33

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

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WaFFLE:
8th vs. 4th:  BT Blues vs. Langers Athletic
3rd vs. 2nd:  Club Deportivo Real FC Dale United vs. What A Load of Ballacks
9th vs. 5th:  DP's All-Stars vs. EMENALO AND THE SNAKE CHARMERS
7th vs. 1st:  Falcao Punch vs. dareNevils
6th vs. 11th:  Taco Bellerin vs. Hawkeye FC
10th vs. 12th:  Thousand Upper Volta vs. Pickled's Foos

With a 15-point lead and 5 gameweeks to go, dareNevils is one win (or one WALoB loss) away from being confirmed champion of WaFFLe-Zola.

THE RIFT HERALD:

If this is your jam, this is your site.

ENGLAND (all times BST):
12.30:  Championship, 24th vs. 1st:  Bolton Wanderers vs. Middlesbrough
12.45:  Premier League, 17th vs. 18th:  Norwich City vs. Sunderland
15.00:  Championship, 9th vs. 3rd:  Birmingham City vs. Burnley
15.00:  Premier League, 5th vs. 20th:  Manchester United vs. Aston Villa
15.00:  Premier League, 12th vs. 7th:  Everton vs. Southampton
15.00:  Premier League, 19th vs. 13th:  Newcastle United vs. Swansea City
15.00:  Premier League, 14th vs. 15th:  West Bromwich Albion vs. Watford
17.30:  Premier League, 10th vs. 4th:  CHELSEA vs. Manchester City

I'D WATCH COACH TAYLOR IN JUST ABOUT ANYTHING:

ELSEWHERE (all times BST):
15.00:  La Liga, 20th vs. 3rd:  Getafe vs. Real Madrid
17.30:  Bundesliga, 1st vs. 7th:  Bayern Munich vs. Schalke 04
17.30:  Eredivisie, 7th vs. 5th:  Vitesse vs. Heracles
19.45:  Serie A, 4th vs. 2nd:  Internazionale vs. Napoli
22.00:  MLS, 6th(E) vs. 1st(E):  Chicago Fire vs. Montreal Impact
23.00:  Liga MX, 6th vs. 5th:  Cruz Azul vs. Santos Laguna
00.30 (next day):  MLS, 10th(E) vs. 5th(E):  Columbus Crew SC vs. NYCFC
03.00 (next day):  MLS, 10th(W) vs. 2nd(E):  Seattle Sounders vs. Philadelphia Union