/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/49291815/GettyImages-519238228.0.jpg)
BUT PLEASE DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY:
I used to set just one alarm, nowadays I set at least 10. But probably more. They span about an hour, from just ahead of ideal wake-up time, through ideal wake-up time, and all the way to drop-dead-gotta-wake-up-or-theres-going-to-be-trouble-at-the-mill wake-up time. This is usually a foolproof plan, except when I forget to charge my phone the night before (and/or my phone decides to discharge its battery for no reason, which has happened at least twice in the last month). No alarm = trouble.
And there would've been trouble, but André Schürrle saved me. In one of those light sleep / lucid dream states, I dreamt about a Chelsea match. I think it was a match in Syria for some reason. Maybe I was reading about Syria before? Who knows. Chelsea were losing, but here came Schürrle to save the day. He had a massive ZZ Top beard.
And that image, Schürrle with a big giant beard woke me up, right at the drop-dead-gotta-wake-up-or-theres-going-to-be-trouble-at-the-mill wake-up time. Thanks, André! I owe you one.
COME ON YOU FIGHTING SHIRLEYS!
(That said, I'm quite positive Real are going to come back and smack Wolfsburg with many, many goals. And I hope PSG win. I still love you, too, David Luiz, even though you didn't feature in my Schürrle dream.)
FOOTBALL (all times BST):
19.45: Champions League, quarterfinal, 2nd leg: Real Madrid vs. Wolfsburg (0-2 agg.)
19.45: Champions League, quarterfinal, 2nd leg: Manchester City vs. PSG (2-2 agg.)
19.45: Championship, 2nd vs. 14th: Middlesbrough vs. Reading
19.45: Championship, 9th vs. 15th: Birmingham City vs. Leeds United