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The Daily Hilario: Lukaku vs. KDB

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

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THE NEW BAMFORD:

CAN YOU HEAR THE DRUMS, FERNANDO?

Sadly, I was too late with my headline suggestion to Mr. Dunne, which was 'Simeone will not be taking Fernando Torres with him to Chelsea'.

FLAVOR OF THE DAY:

Alex Turner & Miles Kane finally have the new single out, and it's ... okaayyyish.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.30:  Copa del Rey, quarterfinal, 2nd leg:  Atlético Madrid vs. Celta de Vigo (0-0 agg.)
19.45:  Coppa Italia, semifinal, 1st leg:  Internazionale vs. Juventus
19.45:  Capital One Cup, semifinal, 2nd leg:  Manchester City vs. Everton (1-2 agg.)
19.45:  Eredivisie, 6th vs. 8th:  Vitesse vs. PEC Zwolle
20.05:  Coupe de la Ligue, semifinal:  PSG vs. Toulouse
20.30:  Copa del Rey, quarterfinal, 2nd leg:  Barcelona vs. Athletic Bilbao (2-1 agg.)