Mourinho rules out Real Madrid return as 'worst team in the world' offers job

Remember Jose Mourinho?  I think he was a coach of some renown once.  He may have even led Chelsea to a Premier League title or three in the long distant past, but what has he done lately, really, that bum.  Fraud.  If only he had a clue.

With his damaged reputation, Mourinho's slinked off to vacation somewhere in a nicer climate than what can be found in the British Isles, apparently at a swanky 5-star resort near Recife in the north-east of Brazil.  Or maybe that's just cover as he secretly (or not so secretly, given the coverage) conducts negotiations for his next managerial assignment with a local team.

Em primeira mão, o contrato do nosso futuro técnico José Mourinho, que já está aqui em Pernambuco. #MourinhoNoÍbis pic.twitter.com/KOan84L7ke

— Íbis Sport Club (@ibismania) December 28, 2015

Íbis Sport Club, located 75km up the road from the resort, who ply their trade in regional football, in the second division of the local state championship, are known as the 'worst team in the world' thanks to a period of almost four years, from 1980 to 1984, when they went without a win.

It should be pointed out that the "job offer" — which includes bonus clauses for losing and immediate termination for actually doing well — arrived on December 28, which is sort of like April Fools' Day in most of the rest of (Spanish-speaking) South America, but is apparently also observed in Brazil.

Still, with Mourinho supposedly rejecting the possibility of going back to Real Madrid and Louis van Gaal clinging on to the Manchester United job, maybe The Special One can take a turn at the helm of Íbis in the interim.