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Newcastle United vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Team news; How to watch, listen, stream

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Two years ago, when Mourinho lost 2-0 at St James' Park, he said he basically made eleven mistakes when picking his starting lineup.  That match basically signaled the end of Ashely Cole's career.  Better step it up, Branislav!

Last year, when Mourinho lost 2-1 at St James' Park, it ended our unbeaten start to the season.  It was a mostly toothless performance, and one that signaled a mini-collapse which culminated in a 5-3 loss to Spurs.  We turned things around after that to win the title easily, but at the time, there were certainly plenty of concerns.

Mourinho's hapless streak at St James' Park extends to his first spell in charge, too.  The Chelsea manager will be looking for his 200th career win as Blues boss, and his first Premier League win in six tries in Newcastle.  He does have two wins there in the League Cup in 2004 and 2006.

Let's put an end to this ridiculous streak.

Date / Time: Saturday, September 26, 2015, 17:30 BST; 12:30pm EDT; 10pm IST

Venue: St James' Park, Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Referee: Martin Atkinson — same referee as for our last visit; in fact, we've not had a win under Atkinson in our last four tries (two draws, the loss at Newcastle last season, and the 3-0 loss at City last month).

Forecast: Dry with sunny spells?  What in the world?

"Weather:" Driver on the Wing — "While the past was as bleak as the present, Newcastle's future could be bleaker still..."

On TV: Sky Sports 1 (UK); NBCSN, NBC Universo (USA); Star Sports 4 / HD 4 (India); elsewhere

Online: Sky Go (UK); NBC Sports Live Extra, NBC Deportes En Vivo Extra (USA); Star Sports (India)

Newcastle United team news: Newcastle may have the least amount of points in the Premier League (alongside local rivals Sunderland), but they do have the most injuries.  Perhaps the former is at least partially due to the latter.  Jack Colback may be back, but right back Daryl Janmaat may be a fresh absentee through illness.  Other significant names missing in action include Papiss Cissé, Cheick Tioté, Emmanuel Riviere, Massaido Haidara, Steven Taylor, and several more.  Diego Costa wannabe Aleksandar Mitrovic will be back from his three-match suspension.

The Magpies have had a rather tragic 2015 so far.  For more on this slow-burning dumpster fire, do check out our opposition analysis.  Despite the hilariously bad results, Steve McClaren is not the favorite for the first sacking of the Premier League season.  Good job, Brendan!

View from the enemy: Coming Home Newcastle

Chelsea team news: Courtois will be out until December at least.  Diego Costa will be serving the second match of his three-match suspension.  Willian has returned to full training, but his involvement could still be limited.  Mourinho said that Kenedy had a problem with his calf during the match on Wednesday; some have taken this to mean a slight injury concern as well.  Though it's not like Kenedy or any of the impressing youngsters would be starting.  (Especially not Ola Aina or Bertrand Traoré, both of whom were involved in the U21s 3-3 draw against Reading U21 on Friday.)

For the first time since April, Chelsea have put together three wins in a row in all competitions, scoring 10 (by 10 different players) and conceding just 1.  The defensive partnership of Cahill and Zouma has emerged as our most solid option, while the likes of Matic, Hazard, Fabregas, and Ivanovic seem to be finally working out their own early season kinks.  Oscar and Remy are expected to start as well.

Chelsea have a chance to finally reach double digits in point for the season, and maybe even climb into the top half of the table!  Watch out, world!

Previously: Actually, never mind about the history here.  It's not pretty, certainly not of late.  Let's look forward to winning instead. This will be my celebratory dance: