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Roberto Martinez rejects reality, John Stones transfer request

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Everton had an ... interesting ... time of it against League One Barnsley on Wednesday, playing out a 120-minute 5-3 extra-time affair in the Capital One Cup, entertaining from the first minute to the last.  Martinez's men, and especially John Stones had a bit of nightmare in the first half, going behind 2-0 before battling back thanks to a couple half-time changes and another impressive showing from in-form Romelu Lukaku.

And speaking of things related to Chelsea, here's the Everton manager after the match addressing the John Stones situation.

"[Stones is] not at all [for sale]."

"Our fans know all we are doing is trying to become better and be as good as we can. John is a massive part of that and we've got a clear idea that in life and in football money can sometimes not buy everything. This is about values and John is a vital part of our future."

-Roberto Martinez; source: Mirror

Martinez was not asked, nor did he comment about what values Everton's rumored offer to buy out Barnsley's 15% sell-on clause represents.  I can almost guarantee you they're not offering the League One side, whose fans taunted their ex-player all match long, 15% of a potential £40m.  Values!  Or just value, literally, in this case.

Everton also confirmed that Stones has in fact submitted a transfer request, but that they will deny said request in the morning.  This is about values, don't you people get it!?

Perhaps in an effort to placate the player thus scorned -- values! -- Martinez heaped praise on the 21-year-old despite the shaky performance.

"I thought he was incredible. An enormous celebration about football. He came through the Barnsley ranks and it shows you what a terrific job the Academy do here."

"John was incredible under enormous pressure as you can imagine. Once more I'll say the authorities need to learn the lesson of what's going on.  We need to protect players in the transfer window. It's becoming a bit of a circus. He was a real example of how to perform under massive, massive pressure. For me, it was an exceptional display by him."

-Roberto Martinez; source: Mirror

Reality distortion field values!  Here, have some psych therapy, too.  Drink the Kool-Aid.

What. The. I can't even.