The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 2

EVERYDAY I'M WaFFLeing:
BT Blues vs. Haz Mat Suits
Club Deportivo Real FC Dale United vs. dareNevils
Falcao Punch vs. Langers Athletic
Hawkeye FC vs. DP's All-Stars
Pickled's Foos vs. What A Load of Ballacks
THE MLS IS A RETIREMENT LEAGUE vs. Taco Bellerin

NE ME QUITTE PAS:

So I finally started watching Mr. Robot after all the rave reviews, and this cover version by Neil Diamond played in episode one.  Quality.  Here's the original French version.  Wiki says that part of the melody is taken from Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 6.  BOOYAH.

ENGLAND (all times BST):
12.00:  U18 Premier League:  CHELSEA U18 vs. Aston Villa U18
12.30:  Championship:  Burnley vs. Birmingham City
12.45:  Premier League:  Southampton vs. Everton
15.00:  Championship:  MK Dons vs. Preston North End
15.00:  Premier League:  Sunderland vs. Norwich City
15.00:  Premier League:  Tottenham Hotspur vs. Stoke City
15.00:  Premier League:  West Ham United vs. Leicester City
15.00:  Premier League:  Swansea City vs. Newcastle United
15.00:  Premier League:  Watford vs. West Bromwich Albion

AS EXPECTED:

Ashley Cole has Roma contract terminated after one season http://t.co/tZx5hI5NJY

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) August 14, 2015

ELSEWHERE (all times BST):
14.30:  Bundesliga:  Bayer Leverkusen vs. Hoffenheim
14.30:  Bundesliga:  Werder Bremen vs. Schalke 04
17.30:  Bundesliga:  BVB vs. Gladbach
18.00:  Fortuna Liga:  DAC vs. Trenčín
19.00:  Ligue 1:  Guingamp vs. Olympique Lyonnais