The Daily Hilario: City retirement home

BANTZ:

That's a good one. Red Bull fans mock Andrea Pirlo, Frank Lampard and NYCFC pic.twitter.com/EBYlc5nF72

— Stefan Bondy (@SBondyNYDN) August 9, 2015

STILL LAUGHING:

Petr Cech under Mourinho: No home Premier League games lost in over five years. Cech under Wenger: First home game - 2-0 defeat.

— Oliver Todd (@oliver_todd) August 9, 2015

EVIL SHENANIGANS:

Don't be afraid Leroy! It was only a frog... Hahah (and I have simulated) @s04 #FDS9 pic.twitter.com/E69zahjYjI

— Franco Di Santo (@fdisanto9) August 9, 2015

FM GLITCH; SI, PLEASE FIX:

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
19.30:  DFB-Pokal:  St. Pauli vs. Gladbach
20.00:  Premier League:  West Bromwich Albion vs. Manchester City