Patrick Bamford is his name, scoring goals is his game. And in his first start for loan-master Alan Pardew at Crystal Palace, all he's done is net a hat-trick. Inside 20 minutes. No big deal. Just another day at the office for Hat-trick Bamfordinho.
That said, it is just preseason and Bromley FC are a non-league outfit. But the goals could not have come at a better time, with Palace having a bid accepted for Connor Wickham earlier on Thursday at around £8m plus add-ons. Wickham and Bamford are fairly different types of strikers, but Wickham does have Premier League experience, and that conceivably meaningless distinction could place him ahead of Bamford in the striker pecking order. And there are the likes of Frazier Campbell and Glenn Murray to contend with as well. And Marouane Chamakh's hair. Let's not forget about Marouane Chamakh's hair.
So, any hat-trick is a great hat-trick for Patrick.