Mourinho: 'Pre-season is fake'

Pulling back the veil of existence, we find nothingness.  An empty void, stretching on for eons and washing machines.  But with no frame of reference, it may as well be a platypus.  What is this world twisted?

Mourinho: 'Pre-season is fake, for good and for bad. If you're very bad it's fake, and if you're too good it's fake.' #CFCTour

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) July 23, 2015

The answer to everything is 42.  The platypus is fake.  They've been lying to you.  There is no spoon.

Mourinho says the PSG game is for preparation only and to play against them in a friendly means nothing to him. #CFCTour

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) July 23, 2015

If everything is nothing, then what is something?  On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.  Good?  Bad?  Doesn't matter.

Jose says he didn't say a word to his players after the game and he didn't need to because the players know him. #CFCTour

— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) July 23, 2015

It was a fake game anyway.  A cosmic joke.  Humor is subjective, but I laughed.

And so we continue to pretend.  What would humans do?  Click here to receive emotion.  Salvation is the peanut butter jar, smoking on a parabola of nostalgia, devouring infinity.