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Mourinho: 'Pre-season is fake'

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Pulling back the veil of existence, we find nothingness.  An empty void, stretching on for eons and washing machines.  But with no frame of reference, it may as well be a platypus.  What is this world twisted?

The answer to everything is 42.  The platypus is fake.  They've been lying to you.  There is no spoon.

If everything is nothing, then what is something?  On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.  Good?  Bad?  Doesn't matter.

It was a fake game anyway.  A cosmic joke.  Humor is subjective, but I laughed.

And so we continue to pretend.  What would humans do?  Click here to receive emotion.  Salvation is the peanut butter jar, smoking on a parabola of nostalgia, devouring infinity.