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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 35

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

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WaFFLe:
3rd vs. 1st:  Avalanche vs. Mother Hen Mourinho
11th vs. 9th:  In Hazardous Kompany vs. Cesc-y Jonjo Shnoz
4th vs. 5th:  DP's All-Stars vs. B Tret
2nd vs. 6th:  Cahill for Jesus vs. Langers Athletic
7th vs. 10th:  Dynamo Hawkeye vs. Silent James & the Falcao Punch
8th vs. 12th:  Haz Mat Suits vs. West Staines Massiv

It's the penultimate matchweek of the WaFFLe regular season, and the Mother Hen and Cahill for Jesus are still battling it out for the top spot.  Yours truly looks to have the Arsenal spot locked up pretty well (gap to 5th is 8 points), while Avalanche are looking good in third.  Final two weeks will be the playoffs in a simple bracket, 1-v-4, 2-v-3, winners to meet in the final in the last week of the season.

BEER OF THE WEEKEND: Hopefully, it'll be the Westvleteren XII that I've had stashed away for a couple years now, just for this title-winning occasion.  I only have the one bottle, from the one-time US release of the beer.  It's special, just like a Premier League title.

ENGLAND (all times BST):
11.00:  U18 Premier League, Phase 2, 1st vs. 5th:  Manchester United U18 vs. CHELSEA U18
12.15:  Championship, 3rd vs. 20th:  Middlesbrough vs. Brighton & Hove Albion
12.15:  Championship, 4th vs. 17th:  Norwich City vs. Fulham
12.15:  Championship, 9th vs. 5th:  Blackburn Rovers vs. Ipswich Town
12.15:  Championship, 6th vs. 19th:  Derby County vs. Reading
12.15:  Championship, 7th vs. 23rd:  Brentford vs. Wigan Athletic
12.15:  Championship, 8th vs. 22nd:  Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Millwall
12.45:  Premier League, 17th vs. 14th:  Leicester City vs. Newcastle United
15.00:  Premier League, 16th vs. 10th:  Aston Villa vs. Everton
15.00:  Premier League, 5th vs. 19th:  Liverpool vs. QPR
15.00:  Premier League, 8th vs. 9th:  Swansea City vs. Stoke City
15.00:  Premier League, 11th vs. 20th:  West Ham United vs. Burnley
17.30:  Premier League, 4th vs. 13th:  Manchester United vs. West Bromwich Albion

SOME PUNCHING THING: There's some punchy punchy thingamabob going on tonight.  I couldn't possibly care less.  Unrelated, but nice win from the Blackhawks last night, holding on to a 4-3 game 1 win after squandering a 3-0 lead.  Related, the IIHF World Championships started yesterday as well.  The Czechs almost managed an epic comeback, but fell a goal short against Sweden.  Meanwhile, Canada, USA, and Russia all won easily.  Slovakia play today, though as usual, their best are still knee-deep in the NHL playoffs.

ELSEWHERE (all times BST):
15.00:  La Liga, 20th vs. 1st:  Córdoba vs. Barcelona
16.00:  Ligue 1, 2nd vs. 18th:  Olympique Lyonnais vs. Evian TG
17.00:  La Liga, 3rd vs. 8th:  Atlético Madrid vs. Athletic Bilbao
17.00:  Serie A, 5th vs. 1st:  Sampdoria vs. Juventus
17.30:  Bundesliga, 4th vs. 1st:  Bayer Leverkusen vs. Bayern Munich
19.00:  La Liga, 5th vs. 2nd:  Sevilla vs. Real Madrid