Petr Cech loan, Jordan Henderson to Chelsea, which rumor is sillier?

Silly Season is not quite here yet.  But if pre-season for Silly Season is any indication, we're in for a doozy this summer.  Are you ready for the madness?  Are you ready to shake your head in wonderment, amazement, disappointment, merriment?  Here are a couple warm-up exercises.

PETR CECH EMERGENCY LOAN

Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech is set to make a sensational emergency loan move to Southampton following Fraser Forster's serious injury.

-source: Tuttomercatoweb via Metro

No word from whoever came up with this -- obviously the best placed sources for an emergency loan between two Premier League teams would be in Italy, right? -- on any sirens or other such klaxxons.  Disappointing.  It's supposed to be an emergency.  A goalkeeper emergency!  Five alarms!  Bee-do-bee-do-bee-do...

JORDAN HENDERSON TO CHELSEA

Henderson has turned down a new contract understood to be worth £80,000-a-week.

More talks are planned but Chelsea are monitoring the situation closely.

-source: Star

Only fitting for Steven Gerrard's successor to be linked with a Chelsea move, no?  Thanks in advance for the next ten years of headed own goals, backpass assists, and crucial slips, Jordan!