Feels almost a lifetime ago that Chelsea last played. Feels that same lifetime ago that Chelsea last consigned themselves to an unlucky, terrible, disheartening, disappointing, crisis-inducing defeat at Stoke City.
It's a brand new season! (Not really.)
Chelsea resume this ridiculous season at Saturday teatime, at home to Norwich City. I mean, if we can't beat Norwich City, will we finally get to wake up from this nightmare? (Probably not.)
Saturday's match is the first of several "easily" winnable games from now until the holiday period. A month's worth of wins would certainly feel like magic at this point. 'Tis the season! Have you been good boys and girls?
Thibaut Courtois is getting close, but won't yet be fit for this one. Radamel Falcao may or may not be fit, but something truly apocalyptic would have to happen for him to start. There are no suspensions (not even Mourinho!).