This Saturday is All Hallow's Eve, i.e. Halloween, in many parts of the world. Trick or treat, goes the call, while others try to scare the living daylights out of you. It's also the Day of the Dead in certain parts, which could be quite appropriate following the big match earlier that day, as new darling Jürgen Klopp and struggling Liverpool come to administer Jose Mourinho's last rites at Stamford Bridge.
That's the story, or at least some version of it, that's being peddled across many of the big boys of English tabloids and media as we begin this most crucial week, which also includes a trip to face Stoke City, equally desperate for a win, in the League Cup. (A selection: Telegraph, Mail, Mirror.) Coincidence? Probably not. It's do or die week for Jose Mourinho. I'm not sure anything less than two wins will do...
(Unless it isn't do or die and we're sticking by him regardless)
As far as (temporary) replacements go, the smart money is on Carlo Ancelotti. Or Guus Hiddink, whatever he may be up to nowadays. Or Fabio Capello, who recently butted his nose into where it doesn't really belong. Brendan Rodgers could be a funny option. For a second or two. Gary Neville would also be funny, though possibly less ridiculous. And what's Roberto Di Matteo doing these days? Wouldn't mind him at all, as unlikely as that magic would be to strike twice.
More permanent solutions (i.e. next summer) could include Pep Guardiola, who may be looking for a new challenge after the easy Bayern job. Those dots are very easy to connect. "Slaven Bilic is amazing. Good tactics, great style of play, looks like he could take on Nemanja Vidic in a knife-fight and emerge triumphant. He'd actually be a pretty fun appointment," said Graham in 2011. Too bad Slaven's having his fun at West Ham instead. Least surprising of all may just be Diego "don't call him a new Mourinho" Simeone, especially considering the ties we've already formed with the Atletico manager through several of our former, current (and future?) players.
One way or the other, it's going to be an interesting, scary, possibly memorable week. Let's do a poll.